WTG frank!
Alex
> From: Frank_Gruendel_at_t-online.de (Frank Gruendel)
> Reply-To: newtontalk_at_newtontalk.net
> Date: Tue, 6 Nov 2001 00:38:37 +0100
> To: <newtontalk_at_newtontalk.net>
> Subject: [NTLK] Story
>
>
> Hi folks,
>
> cleaning up my mailbox I found something I wrote at about the
> time the Newton was axed. As since then a lot of new members
> subscribed to this list, I thought they might enjoy reading it.
> My apologies to those who already know it.
>
> Frank
>
> Newton software and hardware stuff at www.pda-soft.de
>
> -------------------
>
> Friday morning. Frank enters the stage. He is wearing his work
> clothes. He is obviously on his way to do some serious work.
>
> The phone rings.
>
> "Yes?"
>
> "Hi, Mr. Gruendel. This is FedEx. We have a parcel for you here,
> and we need to know what it is".
>
> "Hmmm... No idea. Who is it from?"
>
> "A Mr. NeverMindHisName".
>
> "Ah. Yes. That is the defective Apple Newton MessagePad I bought
> in the US for spare parts".
>
> "The WHAT?"
>
> "The... Never mind. It is, sort of, an electronic database.
> Ya know, what you use to manage your address data, to do list etc."
>
> "Ah, I see. Newton... wasn't that the one without a keyboard?"
>
> Frank (slightly impressed): "Yes".
>
> "And it is defective?"
>
> "Yes, it is. I need it to fix another unit I already own."
>
> "Could you send us a fax confirming what it is and that it is
> defective? We'll need that for customs, I'm afraid."
>
> "Well... not right now. I'm at home, so I won't have access to
> a fax machine until next Monday."
>
> "Pity. This means you'll get the parcel 3 days later."
>
> "I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about it."
>
> "OK, then. Bye!"
>
> "Bye!"
>
> Frank looks momentarily distracted. People with an excellent
> sense of hearing can hear him mumble 'Nothing I can do about
> it' under his breath a couple of times.
>
> An eery phenomenon occurs. Frank's second half disengages from
> Frank. It looks like Frank's exact twin, only somewhat transparent.
> It turns 90 degrees counterclockwise to face Frank.
>
> "Hey! Hey you! Nothing we can do about it?"
>
> Frank, looking surprised and a bit frightened: "N... no. Nothing
> whatsoever."
>
> "Think again, man! You *do* have that fax application on your Mac,
> don't you?"
>
> "Are you kidding? Been there, done that. That was the application
> that steadfastly refused to recognize my modem, wasn't it?"
>
> "Sure. But you could try, couldn't you? You'd get the parcel 3 days
> earli..."
>
> "FORGET IT! NO WAY!!"
>
> "Well... what about the PC? You *do* have a fax app there, don't you?"
>
> "Sure. Oh, sure. And it recognizes my modem just fine. The down side
> is that to date it has never successfully sent any fax."
>
> "I know. But you could try again, couldn't you? After all, you'd get
> the..."
>
> Frank, close to exploding: "Hold your f***ing tongue! We have no time
> for experiments! Ya know, I do not know *your* schedule for today, but
> me, I have a brick wall to build. Preferably before it starts raining
> again."
>
> Frank's second half, sounding subdued and very meek: "But... excuse my
> bringing this topic up again... you *do* have a MessagePad, don't you?"
>
> Frank, looking surprised: "Now WAIT A MINUTE..."
>
> Frank's second half, his expression turning from subdued to eager:
> "And you have a modem, don't you? Remember, the cigarette box one
> that came with your Newton. The one you never used so far?"
>
> Frank, thinking hard, mumbling: "We just *might* give it a try..."
>
> Frank and his second half, mumbling unisono: "After all, 3 days are 3
> days..."
>
> Frank opens a cupboard and takes out his MessagePad. His second half
> looks over his shoulder, expectantly. While Frank spends the next two
> minutes writing a confirmation note, the second half's expression
> turns to utter satisfaction.
> Frank opens the cupboard again, rummages a short while and triumphantly
> extracts a black box about the size of a cigarette box. He blows the dust
> off it and inserts two AA size batteries. Then he connects the modem to
> the MessagePad and to the telephone outlet. He taps a couple of times on
> the MessagePad's screen.
>
> The modem makes clicking and beeping sounds. Frank, looking doubtful and
> staring mesmerized at the MessagePad's screen, whistles gently between his
> teeth. A big wide smile begins to spread on his face, nearly reaching his
> ears. Simultaneously, a similar smile spreads across the face of his
> second half.
>
> While Frank switches off the MessagePad, his second half retreats back into
> Frank. A muffled "I told you so, didn't I?" can hardly be overheard.
>
> Frank puts on a bricklayer's glove, humming. As he puts the second one on,
> the phone rings again.
>
> "Yes?"
>
> "This is FedEx again. Just want to confirm that your fax has arrived."
>
> "Oh. Cool. Thanks!"
>
> "You're welcome. Bye!"
>
> "Bye".
>
> Frank, looking furtively over both shoulders, starts caressing the
> MessagePad. 'Well done, my friend'...
>
> Change of scene. Frank is outside, in front of his house, happily laying
> bricks. The rain is pouring. Nonetheless, Frank is singing, loudly and
> good-humouredly.
>
> "There's nothing, nothing better than
> that small computer with a pen.
> Because one thing I can't abide:
> Hardware that won't let *me* decide."
>
>
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