Part 2...
> >Finally I'll close this too long missive by saying that perhaps we have
> >found the true "Ugly American". He goes by the name of
> >good-dog@northshore.net!!
> >
> >Aloha,
> >Paul G. Grothaus, Ph.D.
> >Hawaii Biotechnology Group, Inc.
>
> I will let an ex-Hawaiian, who is in the Mainland Former-Hawaiian
> Deprogramming and Protection Program, clear up this matter of Hawaiians. As
> has been noted before, his identity has been changed as a result of his
> escape from Hawaiian society. He is now in a safe house on the mainland. I
> asked him to respond to Paul B. Grothauss's remarks:
>
> "Hi, my name is Donald Whore. My life, up until just recently, had been a
> complete and utter disaster. Until I discovered the source of my sorrow, my
> Hawaiian cultural conditioning, I was clueless. Now, thanks to the good
> doctors and nurses here at rehab, I am beginning to realize a normal life.
> Allow me to fill you in on the 'real' Hawaii.
>
> "The Hawaiian inferiority complex runs deep and is, under any category of
> examination, well founded. They are a race that have no real military
> tradition, the only enemies slain in battle by Hawaiians are their own
> livestock in mock combat reenactments of nonexistent battles. The only
> thing that saved the Hawaiians from the same fate as the dodo bird is their
> comparative geographic isolation. Even so they were briefly considered for
> use in the slave trade in the seventeen and early eighteen hundreds, but it
> was not to be, due mostly to their indifferent breeding in captivity and
> their general lack of mental ability to grasp the complex thought processes
> needed by a good field hand.
>
> "The only reason that they were visited at all,
> and the only reason that they ever achieved statehood, was the almost
> universal promiscuity of the females. Hawaiian women are passably
> attractive up to age 16, when they begin that short waddle toward
> resemblance to Bip the Michelin Man. As for the Oriental portion of the
> Hawaiian population, it is an established historical fact that virtually all
> are descendants of escapees from a syphilis colony on one of the more
> obscure islands.
>
> It is true that Hawaii has a low rate of violent crime, but
> that is due more to the refusal of Hawaiians to participate in any form of
> physical work, than it is to their mild nature. Not surprisingly there is
> also no tradition of Hawaiian sporting expertise. It is difficult to
> organize
> and run a team when mass desertions occur on welfare check day, and any
> time an ice cream truck goes by."
>
> Thank you, Donald. Now that that's all settled, I'd forgotten to mention
> another characteristic of Hawaiians: they have no sense of humor. This
> makes them highly susceptible to practical jokes and pranks, especially from
> the mainlanders. They have yet to realize that every time someone comes up
> to them and asks if they need a visa to get to the mainland or any number of
> humorous remarks, they are being teased. They are even convinced that they
> are a state. Have you ever noticed there are no jokes originating from
> Hawaii? It's no mystery. Hawaiians rank in the top percentile of states and
> related U.S. chattel, among them Florida, Illinois and the District of
> Columbia, that possess little or no sense of humor.
>
>
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