Re: [NTLK] How do you use your Newt.

From: Woo Lee (vitcitylb_at_earthlink.net)
Date: Sun Mar 30 2003 - 15:21:00 PST


Well, I prefer the 'Newt Shew' approach...

'Backlight' to set the mood...and making sure 'who's who' and using correct
body part(s).

'Playing back mp3 files of Barry White and Led Zepplin for setting the
mood.'

'Animal noises' in pkg. form for the 'jungle' effect. Good thing a single
tap sets it off.

'Recorded messages that can be easily played back when the kid(s) come
knocking at your bedroom door...and neither adult can move.'
i.e.-"Go back to your room!"
i.e.-"Put ear plugs in!"
i.e.-"Yes, I'm raising my voice...and certain body parts"
i.e.-"Uhh, call 911"

'Two-handed strap-less web browsing from any room, balcony, hallway, car
seat(s), attic, basement, front yard, back yard, garage, or neighbor's
house', having mobile and long-lasting battery powered devices make access
to some 'helpful' sites very important. Also a tough device that can take
rough-handling is a good thing.'

'Keeping 12-hour notices of upcoming events; birthdays, anniversaries,
making-up sex days, and buying 'feminine products'.

'Sending sexy email as you search thru the living quarters for your mate,
who is then tied to the computer chair.'

'Changing the channel on the tv to watch 'blind date' and laugh at all the
wrong things...then show each other the right things'

'Increase the volume on the stereo as your mate increases their volume'.

'Have your mate sign a 'pre-nup.' during sex'.

'Record your mate's jungle-cry'

'Save pics. of love-making on your Newt. for discussion later...like while
at the movie theater, in line at the check-out counter at the supermarket
or asking which pic to use for the couple's DMV License'.

"Kama Sutra.pkg"(69 pages, must rotate screen...and hold).
"101 Sex Positions.pkg"(101 pages, some in portrait mode, some in
landscape, a few in reverse portrait, a few require two Newts., etc.).
"Joy of Sex.pkg"(beginners version, 69 pages).
"Joy of Sex, The Sequel.pkg"(advanced version, 169 pages).
"Joy of Sex, The Trilogy.pkg"(eXperienced version, 369 pages).
"Joy of Sex, The Pre-quel.pkg"(virgin version, no pages).
"Playboy's 50 years.pkg"(500 pages).
"Arabian Nights.pkg"(1001 pages).
"Yoga for Couples.pkg"(bent pages).

All this from a 6-year old!!!

Oh yeah, I did a post Iast year about the 'other' uses for my Newts., in
the archives.
------------------
>LMAO!! I'm just waiting for ooW to enumerate the many uses of the Newt as
a
>'marital aid'...
>
>- Eric.
------------------

---------------------
!ooW %-)
Pres. of LA Newton Users Group!...over $teve's Live Body.
www.lanug.org
 

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