[NTLK] FW: iFixit: Apple ¹ s Diabolical Plan to Screw Your iPhone

Lord Groundhog LordGroundhog at gmail.com
Sun Jan 23 13:37:36 EST 2011

~~~ On 2011/01/23 04:55, Ed Kummel at tech_ed at yahoo.com wrote ~~~

> You know...you might just be on to something...we all *KNOW* that the Newton
> and it's ever vibrant band of active...and vocal...users are nothing more than
> a big 'ole festering thorn in $Jobs side. I'm convinced that he would like
> nothing more than the Newton and all of it's followers to just "disappear",
> never to raise their ugly heads again in his Utopian i-whatever world.
> So, perhaps he is creating an environment whereby the i-whatevers that he is
> creating today will never last the 13+ years that the Newton has, thereby
> never creating a thorn in anybody's side ever! Planned obsolescence on a grand
> scale! Make it impossible for this current crop of technology to be valid
> beyond a 2 year window...this way, he can sell his newer technology to the
> same people who have already purchased his current technology. you
> know...kinda like selling to the choir!
> Ed
> web/gadget guru
> (btw, you do realize that the above is rather tongue-in-cheek, right?)

Of course I do.  And you do realize that Steve is secretly a huge fan of the
Newton, and when no one is looking he slips through a secret panel in his
office into his real workspace, where the only electronic devices allowed
are MP2100s, right?  And that once he's in there he indulges in his fantasy
of one day being the only person in the world who still owns any working
Newtons -- at which point he will release his secret weapon:  the
world-changing, earth-shaking revolutionary replacement for the Newton.
It'll be called the "iHawk" after Stephen Hawking, and it will be wired
straight into the owner's brain via a wireless key that is ported into the
temporal lobes through the nasal cavity.  And the rest will be history, or
rather, the re-creation of history.  :-D


~~~ ~~~ ~~~

³Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from a Newton.²
            -- ref.:  Arthur C. Clarke

(With thanks to Chod Lang)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Fight Spam.  Join EuroCAUCE: http://www.euro.cauce.org/
Get MUGged and love it: http://www.oxmug.org/
Join today: http://www.newtontalk.net/

More information about the NewtonTalk mailing list