Re: [NTLK] How do you use your Newton?

From: Eric L. Strobel (fyzycyst_at_comcast.net)
Date: Thu Mar 27 2003 - 09:27:52 PST


on 03/27/03 10:27 AM, Tom W. at thenortherner_at_sympatico.ca wrote:

> Aside from storing a vast amount of information, I find one of the most
> underrated uses of the Newton is as a blunt instrument. Being, perhaps, the
> heaviest, or one of the heaviest PDAs, many people don't realize that the
> Newton can be used as a weapon of self defence.
>
> First I show my Newton to my would-be attacker and explain that it is a
> wireless taser, capable of delivering 50,000 volts to paralyze their nervous
> system.
>
> Then I tell them that I have entered a code that has emitted a high pitched
> signal which tells my attack dog, Rolf, to instantly come hither and chew
> them to pieces.
>
> If they choose to attack me before Rolf shows up, I strike them, so... and
> so..., much as Mr. Spock would apply the Vulcan grip.
>
> So far, no one has burst through this last defense.
>
> The Newton, and a chipper, can be very useful instruments to use together
> when planning to hasten one's inheritance, or perhaps when one wishes to
> make an early withdrawl from a loved one's life insurance policy.
>
> I shall discuss these uses at a later date.
>
> Tom :-)
>

LMAO!! I'm just waiting for ooW to enumerate the many uses of the Newt as a
'marital aid'...

- Eric.

-- 
Eric Strobel (fyzycyst_at_NOSPAM^mailaps.org)
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