NTLK Newt Airlines ?

From: Andy Wells (teddie@tas.quik.com.au)
Date: Fri Jul 07 2000 - 22:27:43 CDT

Hey everyone
I sent this in a couple of weeks ago but I think it got lost so I'll try
I though we could have a look at adding a Newt version to the
"If OS ran Airlines" email/joke ?
so I wonder what this group would come up with......

 Linux Air
 Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start
 their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the
 runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of
 printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket
 When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a
 copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is
 comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single
 problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of
 the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is "You had
 do what with the seat?"

 UNIX Airways
 Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the
 airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece
 by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be

 Air DOS
 Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and
 let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. They the push
 again, jump on again, and so on...

 Mac Airlines
 All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look
 and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details,
 you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to
 know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to
 know, so just shut up.

 Windows Air
 The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy
 baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10
 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

 WindowsNT Air
 Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and
 takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it

 Newton Air
 Despite the design being ahead of it's time and the method of travel
smoother than all competitors, Major manufacturer pulls out of production.
Employees take it upon
 themselves to continue and refine use and operation of flights.( all craft
come in a green livery). Tickets are shared and come with their own FAQ
 Astonished onlookers are heard to say "...you got here that fast in
something that size !"and
"How can I book with that Airline"

 any thoughts ?

 Andy Wells
Another Newton Nut
with an eMate and Eudora

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