[NTLK] Newton vs "TabletPC" (hey, Bill, pull my finger!)

From: Pedro Hobbyfrazoo (pjfraser_at_mac.com)
Date: Thu Nov 07 2002 - 17:37:30 EST


Hey, lookie - a Newton reference...from today's "As the Apple Turns"
(http://www.appleturns.com/)

The One-Finger Salute (11/7/02)
        

Of course, today Microsoft plans to upstage Apple's latest round of
portable product updates and price drops by launching a new portable
innovation of its own: the Tablet PC. For now, we'll spare you the
predictable rant about how we really loved the Tablet PC the first time
we saw it (back when it was called the Newton), and instead we'll force
ourselves to focus on just one teensy little aspect of Redmond's "Look,
Ma, We're Innovating" desperate cry for attention. Deal?

Okay, here goes: faithful viewer Scott Bradford was dutifully educating
himself about the Top 10 Benefits of Tablet PC and was struck by
something interesting about Microsoft's Number 10, "Get High Levels of
Protection for Critical Data." No, it wasn't the surreal notion that
Tablet PC's inheritance of "all of the protection features of Windows
XP Professional" is touted as if it's somehow a good thing-- "Gee, my
spiffy new Tablet PC is 100% compatible with the same viruses and
security holes that make my desktop PC a veritable fount of
entertainment value!" It was, instead, discovering Microsoft's one true
innovation in the Tablet PC spec: "a single CTRL+ALT+DEL hardware
button."

At last, customers need no longer overexert themselves by employing
three whole fingers during system crashes! Microsoft's implementation
of a single hardware button that emulates all three keystrokes
represents a whopping 67% improvement in ease of use. It's a shame that
it took the company this long to come up with the idea, since it would
have been immensely helpful to its customer base before the advent of
Windows XP, back when crashes were a rather more frequent aspect of the
Windows user experience. Microsoft could have added its groundbreaking
single CTRL+ALT+DEL button to its line of keyboards and saved the world
countless man-hours of effort expended while rebooting, thus freeing up
enough time and energy for mankind to implement a foolproof plan to end
world hunger while simultaneously discovering cures for all known
diseases.

Oh, well... still, better late than never, right? We hereby propose
that the age-old "three-finger salute" be officially and appropriately
renamed the "one-finger salute." In fact, we're doing our own
one-finger salute to Microsoft right now. Guess which finger?

- Peter
pjfraser_at_alamedanet.net

"You have to ask yourself why people keep running Microsoft Outlook
when it has cost businesses worldwide billions of dollars (literally)
because of problems caused by viruses and worms."
John Dvorak, Smart Business Magazine Oct, 2001

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