Hi folks,
cleaning up my mailbox I found something I wrote at about the
time the Newton was axed. As since then a lot of new members
subscribed to this list, I thought they might enjoy reading it.
My apologies to those who already know it.
Frank
Newton software and hardware stuff at www.pda-soft.de
-------------------
Friday morning. Frank enters the stage. He is wearing his work
clothes. He is obviously on his way to do some serious work.
The phone rings.
"Yes?"
"Hi, Mr. Gruendel. This is FedEx. We have a parcel for you here,
and we need to know what it is".
"Hmmm... No idea. Who is it from?"
"A Mr. NeverMindHisName".
"Ah. Yes. That is the defective Apple Newton MessagePad I bought
in the US for spare parts".
"The WHAT?"
"The... Never mind. It is, sort of, an electronic database.
Ya know, what you use to manage your address data, to do list etc."
"Ah, I see. Newton... wasn't that the one without a keyboard?"
Frank (slightly impressed): "Yes".
"And it is defective?"
"Yes, it is. I need it to fix another unit I already own."
"Could you send us a fax confirming what it is and that it is
defective? We'll need that for customs, I'm afraid."
"Well... not right now. I'm at home, so I won't have access to
a fax machine until next Monday."
"Pity. This means you'll get the parcel 3 days later."
"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about it."
"OK, then. Bye!"
"Bye!"
Frank looks momentarily distracted. People with an excellent
sense of hearing can hear him mumble 'Nothing I can do about
it' under his breath a couple of times.
An eery phenomenon occurs. Frank's second half disengages from
Frank. It looks like Frank's exact twin, only somewhat transparent.
It turns 90 degrees counterclockwise to face Frank.
"Hey! Hey you! Nothing we can do about it?"
Frank, looking surprised and a bit frightened: "N... no. Nothing
whatsoever."
"Think again, man! You *do* have that fax application on your Mac,
don't you?"
"Are you kidding? Been there, done that. That was the application
that steadfastly refused to recognize my modem, wasn't it?"
"Sure. But you could try, couldn't you? You'd get the parcel 3 days
earli..."
"FORGET IT! NO WAY!!"
"Well... what about the PC? You *do* have a fax app there, don't you?"
"Sure. Oh, sure. And it recognizes my modem just fine. The down side
is that to date it has never successfully sent any fax."
"I know. But you could try again, couldn't you? After all, you'd get
the..."
Frank, close to exploding: "Hold your f***ing tongue! We have no time
for experiments! Ya know, I do not know *your* schedule for today, but
me, I have a brick wall to build. Preferably before it starts raining
again."
Frank's second half, sounding subdued and very meek: "But... excuse my
bringing this topic up again... you *do* have a MessagePad, don't you?"
Frank, looking surprised: "Now WAIT A MINUTE..."
Frank's second half, his expression turning from subdued to eager:
"And you have a modem, don't you? Remember, the cigarette box one
that came with your Newton. The one you never used so far?"
Frank, thinking hard, mumbling: "We just *might* give it a try..."
Frank and his second half, mumbling unisono: "After all, 3 days are 3
days..."
Frank opens a cupboard and takes out his MessagePad. His second half
looks over his shoulder, expectantly. While Frank spends the next two
minutes writing a confirmation note, the second half's expression
turns to utter satisfaction.
Frank opens the cupboard again, rummages a short while and triumphantly
extracts a black box about the size of a cigarette box. He blows the dust
off it and inserts two AA size batteries. Then he connects the modem to
the MessagePad and to the telephone outlet. He taps a couple of times on
the MessagePad's screen.
The modem makes clicking and beeping sounds. Frank, looking doubtful and
staring mesmerized at the MessagePad's screen, whistles gently between his
teeth. A big wide smile begins to spread on his face, nearly reaching his
ears. Simultaneously, a similar smile spreads across the face of his
second half.
While Frank switches off the MessagePad, his second half retreats back into
Frank. A muffled "I told you so, didn't I?" can hardly be overheard.
Frank puts on a bricklayer's glove, humming. As he puts the second one on,
the phone rings again.
"Yes?"
"This is FedEx again. Just want to confirm that your fax has arrived."
"Oh. Cool. Thanks!"
"You're welcome. Bye!"
"Bye".
Frank, looking furtively over both shoulders, starts caressing the
MessagePad. 'Well done, my friend'...
Change of scene. Frank is outside, in front of his house, happily laying
bricks. The rain is pouring. Nonetheless, Frank is singing, loudly and
good-humouredly.
"There's nothing, nothing better than
that small computer with a pen.
Because one thing I can't abide:
Hardware that won't let *me* decide."
-- This is the Newtontalk mailinglist - http://www.newtontalk.net To unsubscribe or manage: visit the above link or mailto:newtontalk-request_at_newtontalk.net?Subject=unsubscribe
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.2 : Sat Dec 01 2001 - 20:02:11 EST